If Time Healed All Wounds


[Experimental piece]

If time healed all wounds, pharmaceutical companies would’ve already trademarked it. And, given it a cool name like Tempusall.

If time healed all wounds, legislators would find a way to tax it.

If time healed all wounds, some Italian corporation would invent “Deluxe Time” which would cost more than regular time but would have a delightful lemon scent.

If time healed all wounds, teenagers would figure out how to concentrate it and use it to get high.

If time healed all wounds, it would still have its limits. For example, when you were at a party and you were talking to this deaf guy and you didn’t know he was deaf and thought he was talking that way as a joke so you started talking like that too and all conversation stopped so you thought someone was going to make a speech and you stood there grinning like an idiot. If time doesn’t reverse itself, then, even when the universe is so old that there are only protons and antiprotons, you’ll still be hitting yourself in the head with a tennis shoe, yelling, “STUPID STUPID STUPID”

If time heals all wounds, a single steer, if used judiciously, could feed a family of five FOREVER.

If time healed all wounds, would that keep someone from inventing a vaccine to prevent wounds…?

If time healed all wounds, severed limbs would grow back; so, having a stainless-steel hook for a hand would be a lifestyle choice.

If time healed all wounds, Einstein’s Theory tells us that time moves more slowly for people the closer one gets to sea-level. So, those who live in penthouses would heal more quickly. THE WEALTHY WIN AGAIN!!!

If time healed all wounds, the same duel could be fought for decades with no loss of life…

11 thoughts on “If Time Healed All Wounds

  1. I really enjoyed reading this piece! I loved each and every segment of it… I might be a bit biased to the 3rd one wherein some Italian businessman is selling an expensive version of time with an added lemon scent. It really cracked me up 👍

    Liked by 1 person

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