He’s So Stupid… (Leftovers)

You're not really that stupid, are you? | Vail Valley Partnership

[Old stuff that I’m clearing out of my queue]

If you round out the number of languages he speaks to the nearest integer, it comes to zero.

He went to a Friar’s Club meeting because he was expecting tempura.

He locked his keys in his car and had to break a window to get out.

He went shark fishing with a friend and the friend said, “You have to throw your chum into the water” so he drank a bottle of nail polish remover.

At the DMV, he failed the written portion of the driving test so badly that he isn’t allowed to even RIDE in an automobile.

He went to take an IQ test and, instead, he got lost in the men’s bathroom.

He carefully read War and Peace, cover to cover, and complained he understood none of it… and he wouldn’t even try it again with an English-language version.

He thought “unconstitutional” was a synonym for “laxative”…

When he plays tennis up against a wall, he lets the wall keep score.

He can “pass” for medically brain-dead, should the need arise.

He buys half-price lottery tickets from the previous week…

14 thoughts on “He’s So Stupid… (Leftovers)

    1. Thank you! I have about sixty pages of half-finished stuff and stuff I don’t have much confidence in. That came from that pile. It’s nice, when you are writing essays, to have a list of insults to choose from.

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