Why I Must Kill Mice

Attitutor Blog: Rube Goldberg Machines for Motivation

They are the only animal that attacks using “jump-scares” unless you count that squirrel that lives in my garage.

They leave little rodent turds everywhere and I just bought a two pound box of raisins.

They eat every food in the house except for what is in the mousetraps.

Mice all look alike to me so, if I kill every mouse I see, I stand a good chance of ridding the world of Stuart Little.

I think I’m just subconsciously acting out against Disney Corporation.

I kill mice despite their intelligence and mild nature and propensity to spreading plague.

Isn’t mouse murder just an extroverted suicide? A tiny cute little extroverted suicide?

I could just buy a cat to kill mice but who would kill the cat? THERE CAN BE NO WITNESSES!

Yeah… I still working through the guilt of killing a fellow mammal; but, I deal with it by purposely not remembering anything I’ve just done, being extra nice to other mammals and by purposely not remembering anything I’ve just done.

If they start reproducing in my home, I’ll have to get an exterminator and I hate exterminators more than I hate mice.

16 thoughts on “Why I Must Kill Mice

    1. Either I had a big mouse or a small rat… He outsmarted the poison and the mousetrap. I hate using the glue trap but that’s the only thing that works on the smart ones… until they put it into their newsletter.

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      1. I’ve tried that, but the smarter ones go right by it. My son says that he finally understands Tom and Jerry cartoons when he saw the mouse run by and avoid the trap.

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  1. I love all creatures…. Until they nest in my insulation, procreate at a rapid rate and start chewing their way through the living room wall. If you move into my house uninvited? You’re toast.

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  2. In our first house, early in our marriage, we had a mouse problem. We caught one in a trap and I called Bob to come “handle” it. He looked at the dead mouse, put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a $5 bill, and told me he would give me $5 to “handle” it. That was my awakening moment. We don’t have a mouse problem anymore – but if something is unfavorable (like dog puke or a missed litter box incident) I just know it is my issue. The worst part is that I don’t get $5 anymore.

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    1. Late in my marriage, we got a cat. My sister in law had bought it to catch mice but it wasn’t particularly interested in that. We ended up in an old house with a lot of mice and suddenly, the cat became a mouser… I mean a CHAMPION mouser. Problem was, my ex would see the cat eating a mouse and would FREAK OUT. I had to go over and comfort the cat after her meal.

      My ex got hers, though… after a long weekend away, she walked into the kitchen and stepped on what she thought was a grape, but it turned out to be half a mouse. When we finally calmed her down, we found out what the problem was. So much for the cat sharing its meal…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I was just getting ready to put out traps for the annual winter mouseathon, when I realized I could have bigger problems. Yesterday my dog was excited about something under the furniture, and I figured it was a mouse as my cat just watched for about an hour. When it made a break for it, the dog pounced, and killed a flying squirrel. I guess I should be thankful it wasn’t Rocky or I could have an angry moose after me.

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