I’m Tired of Energy Conservation Tips

Tilting at windmills - The Boston Globe

The slower you drive, the better your fuel efficiency; so, if you have to go somewhere, go there in reverse and when you get home you’ll have more fuel than when you started.

Smaller cars have better fuel efficiency. Yes, for those of us over six feet tall, these cars are pet cages with radios; but, if it breaks down and you are walking to a gas station, you tie the car to your belt and pull it behind you.

Keep your house a little colder in the winter. Set your thermostat to thirty-three degrees. You’ll save money and your pipes won’t freeze.

Solar panels may be a nice fit for some people… particularly those whose energy use is restricted to a single thirty-five watt light bulb.

When you leave a room, turn out the lights. Sure, there may be someone still using that room; but, it serves them right for screaming, “Why the HELL are you driving in reverse all the way to the store?”

Pick one oven-free day of the week where you only serve raw foods. Try to pick a different day than “Pork Shoulder Friday”.

Use mass transit to save fuel. To save even more fuel, only ride in buses that get to their destinations in reverse.

Fusion energy is still a technology that is out of our reach; but, you can still prepare for the future by storing tritium atoms as you run across them. I use a zip-loc bag…

A wind turbine can provide much of the energy you need. Plus, you can use it to slice vegetables and grind meat.

Computers use a lot of energy but you can simulate owning a computer by putting a typewriter in front of a fish tank and then getting a deck of cards and obsessively playing Solitaire until three o’clock in the morning.

15 thoughts on “I’m Tired of Energy Conservation Tips

  1. I’ve managed to reduce my carbon footprint by living in a terrarium one day a week. I carry a house plant around with me on other days to soak up my CO2. I’m also considering chlorophyll injections.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Sounds like you need to write the promotional materials for my electrical company. All their ideas are pointless ones like sealing gaps or installing a smart thermostat that can also kill us.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I had a smart thermostat, once. Turned out, IT installed a regular thermostat to do its job and it pocketed most of the money for itself. Legally, it was untouchable. That thermostat sure was smart…

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s