The slower you drive, the better your fuel efficiency; so, if you have to go somewhere, go there in reverse and when you get home you’ll have more fuel than when you started.
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Smaller cars have better fuel efficiency. Yes, for those of us over six feet tall, these cars are pet cages with radios; but, if it breaks down and you are walking to a gas station, you tie the car to your belt and pull it behind you.
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Keep your house a little colder in the winter. Set your thermostat to thirty-three degrees. You’ll save money and your pipes won’t freeze.
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Solar panels may be a nice fit for some people… particularly those whose energy use is restricted to a single thirty-five watt light bulb.
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When you leave a room, turn out the lights. Sure, there may be someone still using that room; but, it serves them right for screaming, “Why the HELL are you driving in reverse all the way to the store?”
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Pick one oven-free day of the week where you only serve raw foods. Try to pick a different day than “Pork Shoulder Friday”.
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Use mass transit to save fuel. To save even more fuel, only ride in buses that get to their destinations in reverse.
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Fusion energy is still a technology that is out of our reach; but, you can still prepare for the future by storing tritium atoms as you run across them. I use a zip-loc bag…
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A wind turbine can provide much of the energy you need. Plus, you can use it to slice vegetables and grind meat.
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Computers use a lot of energy but you can simulate owning a computer by putting a typewriter in front of a fish tank and then getting a deck of cards and obsessively playing Solitaire until three o’clock in the morning.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
The driving in reverse idea has merit. If I could live my whole life like that I’d be thin again.
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I know, right? I was telling my son that, no matter how nice the clothes I wear look on a manikin, on me they look like a tarp thrown over a rhinoceros…
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I’m not at the tarp over a rhino point… yet. But those skinny mannequins can bite me.
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I love that last one, and I even have the fish tank and playing cards 😊
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I used to stay up for hours, pointlessly playing Solitaire on the computer…
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I stay up for hours drawing pictures now 😊
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That’s why I stopped drawing. It would eat up three hours as if they were thirty seconds…
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I’ve managed to reduce my carbon footprint by living in a terrarium one day a week. I carry a house plant around with me on other days to soak up my CO2. I’m also considering chlorophyll injections.
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If you get chlorophyll injections, your friends will be green with envy… but not as green as you’ll be…
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Save your energy, sleep a lot
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I conserve a lot of energy just by becoming an old man….and I expect I’ll conserve even more when I’m dead.
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It’s our way of giving back!
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Sounds like you need to write the promotional materials for my electrical company. All their ideas are pointless ones like sealing gaps or installing a smart thermostat that can also kill us.
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I had a smart thermostat, once. Turned out, IT installed a regular thermostat to do its job and it pocketed most of the money for itself. Legally, it was untouchable. That thermostat sure was smart…
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Sounds shrewd to me.
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