Fireworks Safety Tips

Where to see fireworks this year | Journal Review

Light fireworks on a flat non-flamable area within range of your neighbor’s garden shed… not THAT neighbor… the one who didn’t invite you to his barbecue three years ago.

Use caution-tape to keep people away from the fireworks launch site no matter how hilarious their frenzied dancing is when their jeans catch on fire.

Avoid using fireworks on windy days because sparks might be blown out of the launch area; also, you might accidentally ignite a nearby fighting kite… NOT SO TOUGH ARE YOU, KITE?

Keep a bucket of water nearby in case of a fire. Keep a bucket of confetti nearby in case of Harlem Globetrotters.

Discarded sparkler wires can be as hot as 1200 degrees Fahrenheit which makes them excellent for teaching your children the joys of wearing shoes.

If you are going to launch fireworks, try to stay sober… unless you are doing something extremely hazardous and would like to blame alcohol in case something goes very wrong.

If you live in one of the states where fireworks are legal, you should feel free to fire them off after dark; if you live in one of the states where fireworks are illegal, you should feel free to fire them off after dark.

Fireworks go back to the very original Independence Day celebrations when it was considered a sign of reverence and respect to blow a few of your fingers off.

If a firework doesn’t go off, don’t take any chances… have one of your children carefully retrieve it and put it into water.

Keep a fire extinguisher nearby at all times just in case you don’t injure yourself with explosions, you can still hit one of your friends with the extinguisher.

9 thoughts on “Fireworks Safety Tips

  1. I am so posting this in the park across the road. Next time they set light to the trees they’ll know just what they should have done

    Liked by 1 person

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