Circumstances Under Which I’d Try Karaoke

45 Best Karaoke Songs Of All Time That People Will Love

After I’d used up all other methods of alienating a room full of drunks and I couldn’t find a wake to go to.

If, through a head injury, I suddenly had the delusion that I was Fiona Apple.

After I’d fallen face-first into a great big pile of MDMA.

If I couldn’t afford a giant, continent-sized whip with which to punish the Earth all at once so I settled on punishing the entire planet one dark crowded room at a time.

If, through some miracle, I could suddenly tell one note from another.

If they had the music and lyrics to my favorite song, The Blue Danube.

If I needed a way to cry out for psychological help that didn’t require slashing my wrists.

If my friends kept telling me that I was a great singer and I had no ability to detect sarcasm.

If my blood alcohol level was higher than my IQ.

If my plan to stand on a crowded street corner with my pants down, loudly describing any sexual shortcomings I might have, gets canceled…

26 thoughts on “Circumstances Under Which I’d Try Karaoke

      1. Is it just you who thinks your voice is awful, or have you been told that? I vote for singing your emotions out regardless of skill level—it’s cheap and super cathartic. No judgment here, just supportive.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. You know how, when you bring up one of your faults and your friend, instead of saying, “That’s not TRUE” instead gets really quiet and looks down a little. That is how I was told…

        Liked by 2 people

      1. Absolutely. The lyrics are these:
        I…..Want….Some…..Taters! Bumbumbumbumbumbum. Right…. Now…. NOT…. Later! bumbumbumbumbumbum With… Lots….. of…… Gravy! Mash them up, then add the milk, Then you pour Grav—y, NOW! (I’m taking your blog title seriously…)

        Liked by 2 people

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