Poker Facts that Leave Me Flush

poker

Don’t suddenly blurt out the word, “Gin!” unless that’s what you’re drinking.

If you get a lot of straight-flushes, you WILL get shot from time to time.

If the guy next to you is showing two aces and you’re showing a possible flush, you’re both going to lose to the guy who bets completely at random and has no idea how to play poker.

We’ve all played dice games as kids, but don’t lay down a “small straight” or, even worse, “Chance”. Also, don’t blurt out “Yahtzee” unless that’s what you’re drinking.

If you see that someone has slightly bent an ace so they can keep track of where it is, you can either complain and get a new deck, or bend a few of the low cards and put them back into the deck.

Never play high stakes poker with a guy named “Fingers”… unless he has no fingers; then, the name is just delightfully ironic.

Very important to the game of poker is a person’s “tell”… unconscious behaviors that indicate a good or bad hand. A tell might be subtle, like an eye twitch or how they handle their chips; it might also be less subtle like loudly lamenting, “I’ve destroyed myself financially!” and taking poison…

To hide facial expressions or eye movement, many top players wear sunglasses or ball caps when they play. How do I know an article of clothing is appropriate for a poker game? Does it make you look like a complete and utter tool? Put it on and ante up!

The dream of every poker player is to find a rube and take every cent of his money and leave him a dried out suicidal husk. If, after four hands, you haven’t spotted the rube, the rube is you…

If you go all in, then ask for five cards and then win the hand, no one will want to play with you anymore…

17 thoughts on “Poker Facts that Leave Me Flush

  1. Ever since I was hit in the face with a poker, I’ve been called Scarface, even though I don’t play poker.and don’t look like Al Capone.,,,but I’m not complaining, because if people called me who I look like, they might call me Bugsy.

    Liked by 1 person

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