Book Excerpt: Part Five

Donkey - Wikipedia

Donkeys were domesticated three to five thousand years ago, although you wouldn’t know it by looking at them. They are members of the foul-tempered little horse family of mammals, along with the kiang and the Irish Setter. Donkeys are mentioned in the Bible, Koran, and the Buddhist Sutras; although, they had very little input into what was written into those books.

Although the word “donkey” appeared first in the eighteenth century, no one is very sure from where the name came. It might be related to the color of their coats or the King of Spain. I think it was more spontaneous, like the big bang, in that it happened all at once and everywhere. The Catholic church was probably behind it. Hearing people use the word “ass” over and over could really demoralize some otherwise motivated clergy.

The donkey is one of two horse-like creatures that can make a vocalization breathing in AND breathing out. This gives the donkey its characteristic “hee-haw” bray. The only other horse-like creature capable of vocalization while breathing both in and out is Marjorie Taylor Greene.

Under the right circumstances and with enough vodka, a donkey will mate with a horse or, if its self-esteem is low enough, a zebra. What do people call a donkey/zebra hybrid? Zebra hinny, zebret, zebrinny, Zebroid, zebrass, zedonk and zabomination. A donkey/horse hybrid is called a “mule”. Mule is also the name for someone who transports illegal drugs. They are a donkey/drug-dealer hybrid, usually conceived in cheap Tijuana nightclubs…

The quality most attributed to donkeys is stubbornness. Donkeys are call “stubborn” because they won’t allow someone to work them to death. Horses will, so they are labeled, “good sports”. A horse will eat itself to death… much like I might if I was locked inside a pie factory overnight. A donkey eats its fill and stops. They are grounded.

20 thoughts on “Book Excerpt: Part Five

  1. I do have something in common with a Donkey…my self-esteem is low enough I’ll pretty much mate with anything. In fact, I did…and lived to regret it? Nah. I just remember the good times.

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      1. Living my life in a retrospective view, I never knew how much fun I was having while I was having it. Try as I might, I can’t recreate those moments. Getting kicked by a braying ex sounds like a hella good time

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  2. I think Don-key Trump could bray just like bad-ass Marjorie Taylor Green if he wanted to, but he’s got nothing left to prove. Anything he says (or thinks )is proof enough, so why bother?

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