My Special Pickup Lines

Posted on by masercot

32 things every woman should do in a bar at least once - Thrillist

[Thanks to Patti Moore Wilson for the idea]

I’m going to call you “spittoon” because I’m drooling over you.

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You’re prettier than a wheel of brie and you smell a lot less like urine.

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If I promise NOT to call you “spittoon” anymore, THEN will you go out with me?

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If I were King of the Alphabet, I’d put ‘U’ and ‘I’ next to each other; but, if I WERE King of the Alphabet, I probably wouldn’t be hanging out in this dive and I could probably do better than you.

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I could tell from the instant I saw you that you don’t believe in love at first sight.

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If you promise to go out with me, I’ll stop murdering random homeless people… No pressure…

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I’m gonna call you “sue” because that’s what you’ll do to me after we go back to my place.

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I’m gonna call you “Frankenstein’s Monster” because you are really put together well and probably don’t have a soul, either.

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I usually only date “tens” but I’ll make an exception in your case.

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I wanna wake up next to you; but, not in the “Oh God! Oh God! Another body to get rid of” sort of a way.

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I’m not an organ-donor but I’d love to give you my heart. What? Yeah, I guess I could throw in one of my kidneys, too.

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