Thoughts on Pet Chameleons

A chameleon can be a loving pet especially if your idea of loving is not moving much and occasionally eating bugs.

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Chameleons can live as long as ten years or as short as three hours depending upon how resourceful your cat is.

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A high humidity environment is what chameleons require.  So, a humidifier or mister is recommended.  If you need to transport your chameleon in a humid environment, stash it in your pants or in your underarm.

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Chameleons are easily stressed so, if yours is working forty hours a week, maybe take it to the park and throw a frisbee for it on the weekends… and keep its color-changing to primary colors only.

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Chameleons eat mostly live insects so you’ll have to accept the fact that it  isn’t going to even try the bologna sandwiches and oreos you dropped into his habitat.

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If you can convince the IRS that your chameleon is a member of the clergy, you can deduct the cost of his food from your taxes; if you can convince the IRS that your chameleon is an international airport, you can qualify for large government-backed, interest-free loans.

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Despite what is commonly believed, chameleons do NOT change color to match its background but as a consequence of its temperature or mood.  So, if you don’t like what color your chameleon is, just put it into a warm oven or freezer for a new minutes depending on the desired color.

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A chameleon bite is pretty painless; in fact, the chameleon barely feels any discomfort at all.

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Temperatures below fifty degrees Fahrenheit will eventually kill a chameleon so you know what to set your thermostat to after it bites you or cancels flights to Cancun…

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Touching a chameleon will put tremendous stress on the creature.  Tickling one will cause it to explode…