Signs That You are Too Passive

You marry the only woman who doesn’t spray you with mace when you introduce yourself.

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You say everything in the passive tense such as “My project got screwed up” instead of the more active, “That guy who doesn’t speak much English screwed my project up”

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You see everything that happens to you as inevitable. Your family doesn’t mind that so much but if you can SEE a dog has defecated on the sidewalk, they’d like you to pretend you have enough free will to step six inches to the left…

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Your sex life is deadly dull because no one wants a physical relationship with a passive sadist.

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You often come back from daycare with the wrong children because you just take the first two who turn around when you call out their names…

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You let a doctor perform a pap smear on you despite the fact that you only stopped in to his office to use the bathroom; and, that you are a man.

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You are a virgin in eighteenth century America but you let them affix a scarlet ‘A’ onto your clothes because you don’t want that embroidery to go to waste.

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The most assertive phrase you use is, “You’re probably right”.

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You let one of your co-workers call you “Susan” despite the fact that everyone else in the office calls you “Wilma”. Your name, by the way, is “Charlotte”…

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You miss your highway exit coming home from work so you just keep driving north and eventually end up applying for Canadian citizenship… Unless you are already Canadian, in which case, WELCOME TO SIBERIA!