Alligator Wrestling Tips

You can keep an alligator’s mouth closed easily… even a child is strong enough. But, check child labor laws in your state before incorporating a six year old into your act.

Approach the alligator from the back. This will keep it from seeing you; plus, you avoid the front part, which is where the teeth are.

Most popular nickname for an alligator wrestler? “Lefty”… although “One-Eared Elwood” runs it a close second.

The Seminole Indians were wrestling alligators before the first Europeans wandered over. They wrestled them mostly for food; but, a small part of them wanted to dominate another creature until it could feel the bottomless emotional pain that they felt. But, mostly for food…

Alligators have very powerful tails; in fact, if a dog had a tail that was pound-for-pound as strong as the alligator’s, people would start asking questions about that nearby Monsanto chemical plant.

For most of 1988, the Champion of Alligator Wrestling was, in fact, an alligator…

The most famous alligator wrestler is Tahar Douis from Morocco. He has also worked as a circus strong man and a snake charmer. He currently lives in Texas with over fifty alligators. If he doesn’t have a “Beware of Dog” sign on his property, he is wasting valuable irony.

Alligators have very short arms. This will be important to your strategy should you ever take up the more dangerous Tag-Team Alligator Wrestling.

The first ever Invitational Alligator Boxing Tournament ended with the alligators winning all eleven bouts and six referees missing presumed eaten.

9 thoughts on “Alligator Wrestling Tips

  1. Are there any records of alligator vs Tyrannosaurus Rex? The short arms made me wonder. But do you call them arms if you have to walk on them? Seems like the gator is at a disadvantage.

    I’ve watched enough cartoons to know that all you have to do is get a gator to lie on its back, then you rub its belly while playing a lullaby.

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