What am I Gonna do with All this Strontium?

I was in a hurry when my four year old asked, “Daddy, 38 is how many?”. I handed him the nucleus of a strontium atom and told him to count the protons.

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Strontium 90 has a half-life of twenty-six years so if you spill some, just wait five hundred years and most of it will be gone.

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Strontium added to glass helps to block x-rays. This is great if you have a grudge against your radiologist and want to confuse and annoy her…

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Gather the family together. Tell them that they are going to play a game. Tell them that the name “Strontium” came from village of Strontian in Scotland. Tell them that, to win, they need to come up with four other elements named after places. Pretty quickly, your young son gets uncomfortable and starts crying which sets off your spouse. Your daughter offers, “Europium?” And, you say, “Well, DUH!” and she starts crying also. You make cinnamon rolls but no one eats any… WHY DON’T KIDS LIKE SCIENCE???

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Carry some strontium with you at all times. It’s a pretty light-yellow metal. If you look down and it is liquid, then it is at least 1431 degrees Fahrenheit where you are and you should be sure to hydrate.

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Strontium, added to coffee, is a great conversation starter. Recommended topics? “What did you put in my coffee?” and “Does this taste funny to you?”.

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If you put a few grains of a strontium salt into a flame, it will burn bright red… if you enjoy that sort of thing…

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The ratio of strontium to calcium in human bones is 1:1000. If you have a higher ratio, and you are being cremated, you will burn bright red.

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Adair Crawford discovered strontium in 1790. He also wrote Experimental Enquiry into the Effects of Tonics and Other Medicinal Substances on the Cohesion of Animal Fibre. I don’t want to spoil the book for you, but he finds that the “firmness, elasticity, and strength of the intestines of a kitten are considerably increased by immersing them in Port wine for three days”.

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The earliest use of strontium compounds was in the extraction of sugar from sugar beets. Previously, this had only been accomplished using threats and violent beatings.