Tips on Bread-Making that Should Get a Rise Out of You

In making leavened bread, you take a little yeast and nurture it into a vast civilization of millions of yeasts; then, they suffer a hellish death in your oven. Do you enjoy making bread? Then, you are a monster. There are several types of flour for making bread: Bread flour, if you want a tight […]

I’m So So Sorry

I’m sorry I hypnotized your dog into thinking she was a squirrel, but at least you’ve got all the acorns you’ll ever need. I’m sorry I bought you a treadmill without asking first. I’m also sorry about what I said about your butt, its size and what it looks like when you bend over. I’m […]

Why I Lost My Own Power of Attorney

In my will, I made Frankenberry my sole beneficiary. I bought two lots at Landfill View Estates. I have a member of the Nigerian royal family sleeping on my couch until the banks open on Monday. I had cosmetic surgery done to my penis to make it look more like John Malkovich. I convinced my […]

Police Blotter of East Westriverburg

11218 North South Street: Suspect was apprehended trying to activate a small light bulb with acid and two dissimilar metals. He was later charged with battery. Police broke up what appeared to be a silent riot at the Mahon Public Library but it later turned out to be a rumble between two factions of […]

Bits of Pieces of Bits

My body hasn’t been the same since the first time my wife got pregnant…mostly due to that botched vasectomy I performed on myself to ensure it never ever happened again. Insanity runs in my family… mostly it runs from invisible tigers… No man is an island… it’s just that some men are very shore of […]