What Random Thoughts Hath God Wrot?

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I am Lisa, the destroyer of worlds!

When I say that Lisa Loeb is the Antichrist, I’m not saying that she’s the evil opposite of Jesus Christ. I’m just saying that she will actively bring about the destruction of the world…

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I’m done with women because I’ve been burned so many times before… most recently when a lady threw her coffee at me.

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I tried to write free-verse poetry, but I had difficulty not coming up with a rhyme when I didn’t need one.

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I hate shampooing my rug… so, I usually just bring it to a dog groomer and tell them it’s a “Shag Poodle”.

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I never knew what I could accomplish until I tried. Turned out it wasn’t much but at least now I know…

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I know that I shouldn’t condemn the victim; but, perpetrators tend to be pretty nuts.

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The book ended predictably, like they all do… on the last page…

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Depressed people don’t fear death because it’s what we’ve been training for our whole lives.

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If anyone knows of one, I need a way to kill mildew and make it look like an accident.

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She was SO into me. She told me that she’d be anything I wanted her to be. I asked her to be a refrigerator. It went downhill from there. Moral: Don’t make promises you cannot keep…

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Wanna hear a mythology joke? Jason was the first victim of the fake Medea. Oh, you said, “No”? Tough.

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Which people are best at compartmentalizing?  That would be those researching the most humane method of executing criminals.

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Turns out, killing someone with kindness CAN be illegal. Being cruel to be kind is still okay if the cruelty is mostly humiliation and a safe-word is involved.

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23 thoughts on “What Random Thoughts Hath God Wrot?

      1. My friends seemed to like the free verse poetry one best. I can’t tell because, after you stare at something long enough, you don’t know if it is funny anymore. Kind of like looking at a word you always write and suddenly wondering if it is spelled correctly…

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      1. That is true – although I think I would like this one any day. I will have to wait until I am home and really grouchy and pull this one up again to see if it REALLY DOES bring a smile to my face 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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