Why I’m Following Halle Berry

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Her mouth says, “Stop following me” but her eyes say, “Call my lawyer”

I heard that some nut is stalking her and I want to catch him in the act.

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I’m not really following her. I’m just going the same places she’s going but a minute or so after she does.

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I wrote a screenplay and I’m trying to get up the courage to ask her to spell-check it for me.

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I want to be available to step in, in case someone asks her to play Cat Woman again.

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I just want to protect her from herself. If she turns out to be a danger to herself, I’ll simply wrestle her to the ground while she gets away.

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I’m just following her until I learn her favorite ice cream; then, I will know enough about her to build my OWN Halle Berry.

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I tried having her follow me; but, she had an annoying habit of living her own life.

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I really don’t want to creep her out. I just want to get close enough to estimate her height so I surprise her with a nice birthday casket.

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Well, my cousin WAS following her; but, he broke his arm so I’m filling in for him until it heals.

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I’m only PRACTICING on Halle Berry. The person I really want to track is Kathy Bates, but SHE’S practically a NINJA…

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Upset me and I’ll force you to stay in bed and write a novel

16 thoughts on “Why I’m Following Halle Berry

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