I was listening to the song, Desperado, and I felt that Linda Ronstadt was singing directly to me, so I said, “Thanks, Linda” and she didn’t answer which I thought was SO RUDE.
I had “Short Man Syndrome” for many years. I realized that I was cured of it one day when I hit my head on the top of a door frame…
“You KILLED my husband”, she shouted, “You’re the reason he’s DEAD”.
“You can’t say anything to me that I haven’t already said to myself”, I replied, ruefully.
“Caramel grasshoppers greet the French”, she said.
I guess I was wrong…
“The police are coming”, she told me, “I want you to tell them that you’ve been here all along… oozing out of that tree”. “No way!”, I exclaimed, “I won’t play the sap for you”
Of all the mysteries I’ve ever had to solve, none was so confounding as the human heart… and who left it on the hood of my truck… and why…
Out of everyone, I think that Bill Murray is the one most qualified to write his autobiography.
When all you have is a hammer; and, every problem you see looks like someone you’d like to smash with that hammer.
It’s only when we see ourselves as others see us… from the outside… that we realize the acid has finally kicked in…
I’m getting tired of paying my tax bill with iTunes gift cards.
It isn’t how many times you are knocked down that matters. What matters is how many times you GET BACK UP. If that number is more than four, you are definitely an idiot.
I am my own worst critic and that is SO STUPID OF ME!
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
So, if you can’t knock them down, there is no point getting up. You could write self help books instead of criticising
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m working on one…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Have you ever heard that Pina Colada song, I mean that guy has problems. I didn’t know you liked champagne or making love at midnight? Who exactly was he married too???? Seriously!!!!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My theory is that he awoke from a coma and decided to commit adultery immediately after…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not good enough sunshine. He was just a pussy. I get so angry when I hear that song, even the flies on the walls regret they’re decision to hang out here 😡😡😡
LikeLiked by 1 person
That sound pushes your buttons, eh? And, pulls a few levers, perhaps?
LikeLike
You don’t often make me groan, but I had to with the sap section.
*groan*
Look…. I did it again.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was watching the end of “The Maltese Falcon” when it occurred to me…
LikeLiked by 1 person
This took a bit of turn, but I hate that song too. Seriously? Neither was the bit upset to see their partner put an ad out and accepted it to cheat on each other? I also hate the song Honey I’m Good – is the guy saying if he were to have one more drink THEN he would have cheated? Sounds like it to me. His partner is JUST good enough at two drinks. At three, forget about it – he’s not good anymore.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Deb has hijacked this article…
LikeLiked by 2 people
Haha….she did 🙂 I had something to say about it, but then I read her comment and I found I had something NEW to say. Sorry bout that!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I talk to Sade all the time…and she answers!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
The Marquis or the singer?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Jazz…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Her voice was hypnotic, wasn’t it?
LikeLike
Piña coladas aren’t worth it! Run far away, Deb!
LikeLiked by 1 person
DON’T ENCOURAGE HER!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great story.
LikeLike