You can’t live inside walls, under sinks, or get inside a dumpster…
You have an innate need to cross six-lane highways.
An apex-predator has been introduced into your ecosystem and, besides eating apexes, it also eats everything that you eat plus you and your friends.
A real estate agent says, “And, this is where the pool will be” and he’s pointing at the tree you are living in.
Your favorite food no longer grows due to climate change, but that’s okay because it never would’ve survived the forest fires, anyway.
You aren’t cute or interesting enough for our world’s zoos to want to breed more of you…
You’ve dropped three levels in the food chain.
Someone has discovered how delicious you are.
Your natural habitat is a super-fund site.
The northern-most point of your migration route has the consistency of a daiquiri…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
This is sad Charles, can you write something happy tomorrow … perhaps
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I’ll let you decide, Deb: There’s another chapter of my hated mystery series, there’s a piece on pet tapeworms and one on Canadian foods.
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Your hated mystery series? It’s not hated Charles. Gee, stop being so negative. If you keep this up you’ll need to do self hypnosis like me
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I’d still like you to pick one of the three for tomorrow, Deb!
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So, my newest conspiracy theory is that the ALIENS are the ones who started the coronavirus and caused us to lock ourselves indoors to just gorge our faces and get super plumpy. I’m thinking once we have all reached our maximum taste potential, we’re done for. Dinner will be served and there goes the human race (except for the scrawny ones).
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That would explain the coupons for free butter that keep showing up on my doorstep…
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Not being cute enough has been my lifelong downfall.
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So, don’t expect to be cloned by zoologists…
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No, I don’t see that happening any time soon.
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Yes, do your darndest to not taste good with certain dipping sauces.
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I’ve been told I go quite well with a nice duck sauce, Chelsea. I am worried…
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As each year passes, fewer and fewer people want to breed you. Then you realize you should have taken advantage of the situation when you were in demand. Morals? Who made those up?
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Don’t let regret run your life, George. That’s what the depression is for!
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Yea…gotta chase my new chapter so my past doesn’t overtake my consciousness…that’s my game now.
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If I finish my mystery before you finish your sci-fi novella, you are going too slowly. I will mock you.
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I was disappointed not to see YOU HAVE AN INNATE NEED TO SUPPORT DONALD TRUMP on your list.
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If I used the word “innate” twice in one day, the boys’d think I’d gotten all high hat on ’em…
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