I Bequeath to You these Thoughts on Inheritance

Good Reasons to Change Your Will | Kiplinger

The meek will inherit the Earth and then will be forced to give it back to the ruthless and powerful.

A standard will is a document that says that your death will be the best day of someone else’s life.

Genetic inheritance was an important discovery because it allows us to blame our spouses for any defects our children have.

Seventy percent of those inheriting from the wealthy lose that wealth… by the next generation it is ninety percent. So, to keep your children from going through that roller coaster, leave all your wealth to your enemies.

I have trouble writing a will because the part about “being of sound mind” feels like boasting.

If you’ve disinherited someone, LET THEM KNOW!!! Your compulsive gambler nephew may not mind but it’s good to put it out there before the two of you go on that hunting trip to Steep Gorge Mountain and Grizzly Bear Reserve.

Getting nothing at the will reading is kind of sad; so, keep a box of fidget spinners and stuffed animals in your attic to bequeath to relatives and friends who, through humming or flatulence, annoyed you…

Courts recently decided, if you receive an inheritance and the person giving it to you is brought back to life, you have to give the inheritance back… but, wait a week or so to make sure villagers don’t chase him with pitchforks and torches to an old mill and burn him to death.

When someone wants to determine what happens to his assets AFTER his death, I’d say that person has a control issue.

Evil hotelier Leona Helmsley left twelve million dollars to her dog. That money was soon gone, however, after the purchase of a standard nuclear-powered platinum dog collar and matching jet pack…

13 thoughts on “I Bequeath to You these Thoughts on Inheritance

  1. Catelyn recently asked me what I was going to leave her if I died. I told her I didn’t have anything but her and she should be more worried about that. She now wishes me long life with my simple belongings.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hmmm… now I’m considering I should leave some really nice hair ties for my long-haired relatives should they survive me. Who doesn’t like to get the nice hair ties, right?

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Trendy Japanese candy, you say? I’m afraid I’m out of the loop. What do you think will make the relatives who survive me glad I’m dead? 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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