Facts about Psychiatry

On this day in pop culture history: Lucy of 'Peanuts' raised the price of  her Psychiatric Help

Early psychoanalysts charged very little for their couch sessions; they made most of their money checking for loose change between the cushions after the patient left.

The vast majority of people with mental health problems are no more likely to be violent than any other American… which makes them VERY likely to be violent.

People who think those with mental health problems should “snap out of it” are the same people who, when falling off a cliff, try to snap out of gravity.

More than forty million Americans struggle with mental health issues. The other quarter billion quit struggling a long time ago.

Anxiety is a throwback from earlier in our evolution when we needed it to stay alive… often termed an “emotional appendix”. This is not to be confused with “emotional appendix syndrome” which is more painful and has more explosive diarrhea.

About half of psychiatrists manage their own practice. The other half work in a laboratory, dosing chimpanzees with LSD and releasing them into Spencer’s Gifts boutiques…

Psychiatrists tend to specialize: Some work in addiction, others with depression and anxiety. Most tend to specialize in treating people who have large cash reserves and who aren’t expecting to be cured any time in the near future.

It takes twelve additional years of education to acquire the skills to diagnose what is wrong with you. Your spouse can do the same thing without the added education and you pay nothing, if you don’t count the ulcer that will one day kill you.

The term “shrink”, used to designate a psychiatrist, originated in the 1950s after someone noticed that their analyst got smaller every time he was washed.

You can inherit stress-related mental disorders from your children.

11 thoughts on “Facts about Psychiatry

  1. I invite all my rich friends over and do the same thing. Except now I am looking for a large bill or credit card in the seat cushions.

    Oh, who am I kidding. I don’t have any rich friends. But if I DID – this would totally be my plan.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I once went to see a shrink, but he had shrunk too much to see, so I saw my way out before he could see me, saving a fee and the third degree and leaving me shrink free. Though some may disagree, I still turned out normal as can be, as you can see.

    Liked by 1 person

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