Why I Hate the Violin

ANOTHER instrument has been completely destroyed during a flight - Classic  FM

A violin is essentially a tiny guitar that you scrape.

Holding a violin under your chin feels like when you are trying to take five oranges to the refrigerator and you don’t want to make two trips.

Or, maybe more like a musical goiter.

We only have violins due to the efforts of the powerful rosin lobbyists.

We no longer make the strings out of cat-gut; which is a shame because I like it when we use ALL of the cat.

If it weren’t for the violin, Yehudi Menuhin would’ve had more time to work on a cure for cancer.

Legato and tremolo are fine; but, I tried playing pizzicato once and stabbed myself in the throat.

There are no frets on a violin so it is possible that violin players are just making it up as they go along.

Professional violin players always seem to have one horribly muscular arm.

The movie The Red Violin grossed ten million dollars in the United States. To give that number some perspective, a movie made by MISTAKE can gross ten million dollars in the United States.

While they play, most violin players express their emotions with their eyebrows. A lifetime of that will bring about a condition where the forehead eventually touches the nape of the neck.

Horse hair is used in the creation of some violin bows… so, when you see a bald horse, you’ll never know if it was used to make a bow or if the animal is just losing its hair.

15 thoughts on “Why I Hate the Violin

  1. I hate the violin because it seems to be THE instrument they give to 8-year-olds to start them out in the school orchestra. Yet they PRACTICE at home. The only tune my kids could ever pick up involved a horrible screech but I think they were supposed to be playing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My son tried to learn it but he also never got beyond Twinkle Twinkle Little Screech. Later, he got really good with the guitar… with NO lessons. We could’ve saved some bucks if we knew…

      Liked by 1 person

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