Random Thoughts that Backed their Car over My Neighbor’s Dog

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If you meet a donut at a singles’ bar, never ask its Zodiac sign because it is always torus.

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There are countless reasons why I cannot accept the concept of infinity.

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I don’t want to bore you with the details; but, if I can bore you with a general overview, I’m an orator to be FEARED…

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Anyone who will take fruit over french fries is probably wearing a choke-collar.

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I have to live, every day, with the inevitability of failure. Why yes, I AM a Baltimore Orioles fan…

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My uncle once said that the music he liked was “Bach, Bach, Bach”. Turns out, he didn’t like Bach at all… he was just being slowly turned into a chicken.

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I’ve spent my whole life striving for material wealth, when all I ever really needed was a billion dollars in gold coins…

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There are two ways to go through life: One way is to assume there are only two ways to go through life; the other way is to assume the opposite. I choose neither.

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Back when I used to drink, I’d take my dog and we’d drink beers at an outdoor cafe… but, the dog had non-alcoholic beer because SOMEONE had to drive.

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She spoke so loudly that I couldn’t hear her over the sound of her voice.

14 thoughts on “Random Thoughts that Backed their Car over My Neighbor’s Dog”

  1. I’m the fruit person. And the salad person. I leave every meal unsatisfied. But since I sneak a french fry off someone’s plate to try and compensate for my displeasure – well, I guess I need someone to up the shock on my choke collar.

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