Take My Life Advice… or Else

the difference between words: advice and advise | English Help Online's Blog

No task is beneath you. Do the menial stuff with pride and hope that no one sees you.

Don’t be afraid of hard work… unless it is menacing you with a hunting knife or suddenly popping out of your bedroom closet when you are just falling asleep.

Do what you love… keeping in mind that Naked Lady Inspector isn’t a real job.

Don’t work hard; work smart. Don’t know how to work smart? Well, it’s important to know, so I suggest spending sixteen hours a day learning how to work smart until you get it right. Does that sound too hard? Well, I have some advice for you…

Find mentors who are living the life you want to live. Kill them, discretely, and take their places.

You are the author of your own fate. This explains why your fate is hackneyed and rife with misspellings.

You only live once; but, you die inside every time your racist grandfather impersonates a Chinese waiter.

Keep an idea jar. When you have a new idea, write it down and put it into the jar. When you are bored, draw one from the jar. Was it, “Become Naked Lady Inspector”? No? Well put it back and draw another one.

Simplify! Any task can be broken down into smaller tasks; and, those tasks can be broken down into sub-tasks. For each sub-task, come up with a viable reason why you can’t complete it. Example: “I can’t write the abstract because I’m about to be arrested for killing my mentor and trying to take his place”…

Be curious. If you have to ask why you should be curious, you are doing it right.

Don’t fear change. I got over the fear of change decades ago but I’m terrified it might start up again.

Things are never as bad as they seem… unless you’ve fallen into a vat of boiling nitric acid; that’s EXACTLY as bad as it seems…

15 thoughts on “Take My Life Advice… or Else

  1. “The man who follows other people’s advice always ends up making other people’s mistakes.” –Evan Esar
    So, before I take your advice, do you swear that you
    a. never make mistakes
    b. never lie about never making mistakes

    Liked by 1 person

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