Legitimate Reasons for a Grown Man to Cry

Man cries out after finding out that his wife's big bum is fake

When we cry with RAGE!

Death of Old Yeller: A real man is stoic but he’s not made of stone. A boy who has to shoot his own rabid dog pushes a LOT of manly buttons: Guns, dogs, gut-wrenching responsibility… plus, we like shooting stuff…

Crying is acceptable while you are sitting through a tragic Italian opera and suddenly realize that you could be watching the Arnold Schwarznegger marathon on cable.

You can cry after the most intense, mind-blowing sex you’ve ever had.

It’s also okay to cry after saying the wrong thing and missing out on the most intense, mind-blowing sex you’ll ever have.

Watching the garbage truck drive off while your wife is complaining that someone must’ve thrown away her winning lottery ticket.

It’s okay to cry when I think about all the death and suffering in the world and how I still haven’t made any money off of it…

When the price of man-tears hits seventy dollars a cubic centimeter.

If you are only crying to fashion a weapon from the tears to use against an international gang of terrorists bent on destroying the world.

If you want to be a LITTLE BABY GIRL!!! Here! PUT ON THIS DRESS LITTLE BABY GIRL. Daddy, don’t hate me… DON’T WALK AWAY I NEED YOU DADDY! Hey…. maybe I have some issues I need to work out…

11 thoughts on “Legitimate Reasons for a Grown Man to Cry

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