Note to Self

Note(s) to Self - VC Cafe

NOTE TO SELF: Quit using shampoos with the instructions, “Lather, rinse, regret”…

NOTE TO SELF: Remember to tell uncle that replacing the “N-word” with “negro gentleman” doesn’t make his joke about the porter and the traveling salesman any easier to listen to.

NOTE TO SELF: Return dog to shelter and get one that matches my new carpet.

NOTE TO SELF: No more pieces on puppets because people are starting to suspect things about me that I’ve tried very hard to hide.

NOTE TO SELF: You deserve love; however, you don’t deserve kindness so DON’T GET GREEDY.

NOTE TO SELF: Before accepting any new job, meet your new supervisor and check for the presence of a soul.

NOTE TO SELF: If you do something stupid like borrow money from a mobster, don’t beat yourself up about it. The mobster will handle that.

NOTE TO SELF: Your new handlebar mustache is starting to attract the wrong kind of people.

NOTE TO SELF: You are unstoppable! Which is why you knocked that toddler down at the mall the other day.

NOTE TO SELF: Next time you eat something on a dare, make sure it isn’t smoldering…

11 thoughts on “Note to Self

    1. Doesn’t the poop depend on its diet?

      On another note, I think you are one of the few to appreciate this: I’ve got a great William Powell/Ginger Rogers movie queued up for tomorrow. It’s taking all my will to keep from watching it, tonight…

      Liked by 2 people

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