Stay calm! Nothing deters a deadly wall of fire like serenity.
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Go to an area free of vegetation, like the banks of a river or anywhere in West Texas.
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Call 911. If they can’t help you, call 912.
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If you can see an already burnt out area through the flames, douse yourself in water and try to run through to the burnt out area. If you are completely wet, you won’t get burned by the fire but you will get steamed.
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If you are surrounded on all sides by a forest fire, be calm, go to West Texas and then call 912…
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If things look bleak, you might want to dig a fire-break, which is a vegetation-free strip of land some one hundred feet across. Check your pockets or purse for a bulldozer… or, in a pinch, a steam shovel.
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With a forest fire, always expect the unexpected. Remember that, if you did anticipate a need, it wasn’t unexpected and so it doesn’t count.
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To prepare your children, explain to them about the dangers of forest fires and why you might have to abandon them if they don’t keep up.
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Keep a radio to track the forest fire’s movements and what Alex Jones thinks that day.
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Keep your yard free of anything that might feed the flames… like those big bags of Forest Fire Chow you have in your garage.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Love it C, I was thinking an axe but a bulldozer is such a better idea
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Thanks, Deb. I finally landed a job. I’m starting work, today…
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Congrats, take the axe, it will help
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As long as I don’t GET the axe…
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With my luck, I’ll have switched out my bulldozer friendly purse for something smaller the day before.
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Or, there will be a used tissue on it and no one will want to drive it…
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Never yell FIRE! in a crowded forest….
Unless it’s true and you’re an arborist.
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Ah, forest fire chow. And to think I’ve been using it as insulation and hamster bedding…
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I switched the water in my hamster’s cage with energy drinks so he needs no bedding… because he never sleeps. Sadly, I don’t save any money because he’s worn out six hamster wheels…
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Hamsters. Can’t live with them, can’t live with them.
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