“Don’t shoot me, I’m a conceptual artist!”
♥
“If the lot of you aren’t out of this house in five seconds I’m going to have to serve you cake”
♥
“Stick around ’cause I’ll be playing some tracks from my new album”
♥
“Drop the gun! I’m making a citizen’s arrest”
♥
“If you do your chores without complaining you’ll get the pleasure of knowing you helped out your mom”
♥
“If I can kill a snitch in the exercise yard with half a ball-point pen, then I’m more than capable of watching your children while you are at the movies”
♥
“Dad, would you buy me a car? I’m tired of walking home drunk”
♥
“Trust me, I’m a lawyer”
♥
“If you give me five dollars, I’ll wrestle with you right here on the sidewalk”
♥
“Marry me… because I really HATE my job and can’t cook for myself”
♥
“Look, let’s have sex and if it turns out you don’t like it, I’ll take it back”
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
OMG, trust me, I’m a lawyer 😂
LikeLiked by 3 people
You have to interact with one at least once and you’ll never forget…
LikeLiked by 2 people
Substitute playing tracks from your new album to reading some of your new poetry. These days everyone thinks they’re a poet….
LikeLiked by 3 people
Everyone and his doggerel thinks they’re a poet…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha! I like the lawyer one 😀 In an episode of NCIS, Gibbs asks a high-end lawyer representing a high-end prostitute (or madame), “Just between us, who makes more”.
LikeLiked by 2 people
My first one would’ve been “Don’t shoot me, I’m a Trump hater!” That would be especially effective if the shooter is holding an AK-47.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You know, for only ninety-nine dollars, you too can have a virtual trading card of Donald Trump dressed as an astronaut or cowboy.
LikeLiked by 2 people
“If the lot of you aren’t out of this house in five seconds I’m going to have to serve you cake”
In my case, that would be a threat. Just saying. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
What if it was cake made out of beef?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m fairly sure I can ruin that, too!
LikeLike