How Different Entities React to a Dead Body Floating Down a River

Nicola Bulley: Exactly where body pulled from river compared with where mum  went missing - Mirror Online

Evangelicals: “Check the group we baptized, yesterday, and see if one is missing”

Philosopher: “In life we are pulled along by fate while our false notions of a free will give us hope; and, in death the current still pulls us forward while we look on, unable to slow time or even comprehend the vast—oh, sorry… Welcome to McDonalds. Can I take your order?”

Salmon: “You’re going the WRONG WAY!”

Republicans: “How long are our children going to have to deal with the constant flow of bodies caused by drag shows and homosexuals?”

Libertarian: [Checks body for spare change]

Netflix: “We can make a series out of this and call it, “Dead Body Floating in a River”.  We’ll find the best writers and worst director that we can, just in case the end product is in any danger of being good”

Policeman: “Keep on floatin’, baby. In a few minutes, you’ll be another county’s problem”

Capitalist: “Hey! Free dead body!”

Self-help Guru: “Your problem is, you need to be more proactive”

Unmarried Fifty-something: [Sees body, swipes right]

10 thoughts on “How Different Entities React to a Dead Body Floating Down a River

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