Evangelicals: “Check the group we baptized, yesterday, and see if one is missing”
♠
Philosopher: “In life we are pulled along by fate while our false notions of a free will give us hope; and, in death the current still pulls us forward while we look on, unable to slow time or even comprehend the vast—oh, sorry… Welcome to McDonalds. Can I take your order?”
♠
Salmon: “You’re going the WRONG WAY!”
♠
Republicans: “How long are our children going to have to deal with the constant flow of bodies caused by drag shows and homosexuals?”
♠
Libertarian: [Checks body for spare change]
♠
Netflix: “We can make a series out of this and call it, “Dead Body Floating in a River”. We’ll find the best writers and worst director that we can, just in case the end product is in any danger of being good”
♠
Policeman: “Keep on floatin’, baby. In a few minutes, you’ll be another county’s problem”
♠
Capitalist: “Hey! Free dead body!”
♠
Self-help Guru: “Your problem is, you need to be more proactive”
♠
Unmarried Fifty-something: [Sees body, swipes right]
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
My husband does love “free” but thankfully he draws the line at bloated corpses. Who has the room?
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Don’t be surprised if you find one in your garage… or, worse… your freezer.
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The freezer is unplugged. That would not be good…
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Oh you outdid yourself with this one 😂😂😂😂😂 I couldn’t POSSIBLY choose a favourite; they ALL cracked me up 🤣 Thank you for this… I really needed a good laugh 🙏💕
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I hope everything’s okay, Patti.
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Yeah…had a stressful month but things are looking up. Thanks for asking 🙂💕🙏
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You forgot the millennial- meh
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I usually can’t understand WHAT they’re saying. I read my youngest’s facebook posts and I can’t even get a gist some time.
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Meh (See a word with so much depth) 🤣
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This post is so funny, I told my wife you wrote it and asked her to read it. She said “Over my dead body!” You can imagine how conflicted I felt.
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