[The following questions were generated by Google in a search of “alligators”]
Do alligators feel love? Alligators, like all reptiles and most cats, lack the limbic part of the brain where emotions are generated. The most you can hope for with an alligator is perfunctory sex once a week and maybe some flowers on your anniversary.
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What are an alligator’s weaknesses? Poor dental hygiene and a crippling lack of charisma…
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Are alligators dinosaurs? No, but alligators and crocodiles are the closest living relatives to dinosaurs so, if a dinosaur gets sick or dies, you’ll definitely find an alligator or crocodile listed as an emergency contact.
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I hear alligators can weigh up to a thousand pounds. Is that true? How would I know what you’ve heard?
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Can alligators use tools? Yes. It was recently discovered that they use tiny sticks to lure birds looking for nesting material. They also use power sanders to attract middle-aged men looking for a way to smooth out that bookcase they’re building.
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Can an alligator bite your arm off? No. An alligator cannot bite your arm off; however, it can rip your arm off, so if you plan to go swimming with one, leave your expensive wristwatch at home…
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Where is the best place punch an alligator? In your dreams.
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Can a bear beat an alligator? A grizzly or Kodiak bear can defeat an alligator because of their sheer size and strength. Such a battle has only happened once: Over a parking space at an Indiana mall on Christmas Eve in 1981.
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How can a person defeat an alligator? Well, if you are carrying knitting needles, you can try to knit yourself a grizzly or Kodiak bear.
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Do alligators like being scratched? They do, but only after some light bondage and a spirited paddling…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Ok, now I suspect my hubby is an alligator. Thanks C 🙄
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That sounds like a croc to me…
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Either way I guess I’m not taking that chicken to bed 🤣
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A crotcheted Kodiak is sure to win, but who has the time?
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Shhhh! I’m knitting…
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Knit faster….
🤣
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😂
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🤣
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It’s a common misconception that aligators give you flowers on occasion. That only happens if you threaten to end the relationship, actually.
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It’s called, “damage control”, Jay; and, it is beautiful!
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As long as the flowers are nice!
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As you know, alligators and crocodiles talk to each other, but have a very limited vocabulary. Some human wrote a song which expanded on it and became a dance craze, but gators and crocs can’t dance (or talk) as good as humans, so they didn’t appreciate it, and have been sulking ever since. Now you know.
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As Captain Kangaroo explained: “Never smile at a crocodile”
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How is it an alligator can fight off a grizzly bear and yet has failed repeatedly against Steve Erwin?
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Steve Erwin has been in Australia for so long, he’s become venomous. Alligators have learned, over many years, to avoid Steve Erwin and, to a lesser extent, his children.
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So true. Bindi and Robert look like they’re set to follow after dad’s footsteps. To study and protect nature…after annoying the crap out of it 😀
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You MUST have seen the Steve Erwin South Park episode…
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Actually, I haven’t. You make me feel like I should, though
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You should.
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