Turn off the water while you brush your teeth and save up to 4 gallons a minute. You can save even more water than that if you don’t brush your teeth at all and just rinse your mouth with Hawaiian Punch.
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Reuse your towels to save water. How do you know when it is time to wash them? When you can’t easily determine the towel’s original color.
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You can save water by washing fruits and vegetables in a pot or pan unless you wash the pot or pan.
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Replace your baths with five minute showers; or, to save even more water, just anoint yourself with Hawaiian Punch.
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Re-use the water in which you cooked pasta to water your plants. If you have no plants, use it to water your meatballs.
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Avoid throwing away a water bottle with water still in it. Use that water in your toilet tank or for your meatballs.
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Don’t let your kids play with water-hoses, squirt guns or any other toy that might make their childhood memories a little less dreary and awful.
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Only wash full loads of laundry. If you only have a few dirty items, add enough clean clothes to make a full load.
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Eat fewer water-intensive foods. Instead of almonds or beef, try jerky or a heavily over-watered meatball.
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Instead of your own pool, join a community pool; because, why deprive others of your urine?
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
And the ultimate, save water and recycle it, by watering your roses with your urine.
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Note to self – do not swipe a bouquet from this backyard.
🤣
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😄😆🤣
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And if you want to dye your hair red, think of all the money you’ll save by showering with Hawaiian Punch. It’s a win win.
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‘Til the horseflies get at your scalp…
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I was thinking you could fill the kids’ squirt guns with Hawaiian Punch. Dreary childhood averted AND they’re all showered and ready for bed 😀
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They’ll be sleeping with the ants that night!
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🤣🤣🤣
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Love your “add enough clean clothes to make a full load” tip….or, in the alternative, you could add yourself in lieu of taking a shower or bath. . However, I wouldn’t put myself in the drier afterwards — you might get more wrinkled than you already are. Just drip-dry.
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The washer would be fine if it wasn’t for that spin cycle. Good news is, I found out that I’m fully qualified to be an astronaut…
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Tell me: would watering my meatballs ultimately get me meatball plants?
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Meatballs grow on vines. You call yourself “Italian”???
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No. Irish and German, though mostly English.
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