One of My Typical Rants

Image result for candy and nuts

If if’s and buts were candy and nuts, it would be Christmas every day of the year”. Parents used to say that to their children, among other things… like, “Have a nice day working in the coal mine, Kevin” or “Sorry I sold you into slavery”. It basically means don’t dwell on the way things could’ve been; but, concern yourself with who you will file suit against for the way things are. The universe could EASILY meet our ideals if it WANTED to… it’s got infinite power, all the matter, all the energy and also those things physicists made up to make their equations work (dark matter, I’m talking to you). But, the universe doesn’t bend itself to our will and so our lives suck; and, immediately after our lives stop sucking, the universe notices the lapse and our lives immediately START SUCKING AGAIN. You’ll probably get maybe a three or four minute lull while the universe spaces out and ignores you; but, it only does so because it is picking on some other poor schmo. Better him than me, I say. We are like zebras on the savanna… no, more like okapi, change my answer to “okapi”. A lion pounces on one and the rest, instead of being horrified, are all thinking to themselves, and to any mind-readers that happen to be around, “better him Image result for okapi savannathan me”. It’s not that we are particularly cowardly… we ARE cowardly as a species, just not PARTICULARLY cowardly… like say, a rabbit. But, we understand when a higher power is hungry and it wants some misery to feed on. We bravely hope that it will be someone who lives far enough away for his misfortune to not affect us but close enough that we can film it on our phones. And, some people sense this and respond personally by killing innocent people when his luck goes bad. It’s even an excuse that most accept as at least viable: “He killed ten people because he lost his job and his wife left him”. And, we nod and say, “Yeah, I can see that”… Personally, I’ve never wanted to attack the world when my luck goes bad, even though I sometimes suspect that the world is in on it… maybe not willingly. Maybe hostages are involved or perhaps the world owes a blood debt to whatever higher power wants me miserable… I could understand that. It’s like that question, “Would you steal a loaf of bread to feed a starving family who will grow up to vandalize your car?”. We like to imagine every kind deed having benefits that pay forward; but, maybe feeding a child bread and having that fat bread-eating bastard grow Image result for hitler kidup to be Hitler is a bad thing. I’m not saying you should starve all of your children just in case; I’m just saying that if the child’s antisemitic and only has one testicle, maybe you should concentrate on the other kids. I’m not saying that all mono-balled antisemites will grow up to be maniacal dictators that will attack the entire world. On the other hand, the world is kind of asking for it, so maybe he should get them before they get him. Although, I cannot imagine a doomsday device being used in self-defense. Definitely, the stand your ground laws would not apply because, with a doomsday device, the ground is gone and the only thing you can stand on is your principles. Principles we all need and that we need to instill in our children… like not dwelling on how things could be…

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