Random Thoughts Part Four: Son of the Ghost of Random Thoughts

I think that a man should be allowed to walk around naked in his own house; my renters, however, did not agree…

If you killed Frankenstein’s monster, would its ghost be the monster or would it be several separate ghosts for each body part?

It is a bad workman who blames his tools. It is an even worse workman who stabs you in the stomach and steals your car…

If a werewolf bites a wolf, does the wolf just end up feeling more comfortable with himself when the moon is full?

I’m considering selling Ikea-style build-your-own jokes: A “mole” can be an animal, a skin condition, a Mexican sauce or a spy. Two Mormons have just walked into a bar. Here’s your allen wrench and good luck!

The trick to writing a mystery novel is to start with the ending. I usually put it right in the first chapter… sometimes even in the introduction…

If you look at marriage as a business deal and divorce is merely the dissolution of a business agreement, it seems almost an overreaction that you fed all of her photo albums into the wood chipper…

When it comes to criticizing someone in a constructive and effective way, nothing tops a good beating…

I have a vague recollection of someone telling me I needed to start taking drugs to help my memory.

The best music comes from the heart. The worst music comes from the bassoon…

If you like eating meat from a can and living in a cardboard box then happiness is only a mental collapse away…

Some people feel that life is a joke. Others feel that life is a cereal, magazine or a period of duration. A farmer is driving a convertible with a hog in the front seat. Here’s your allen wrench. Good luck…

A man who invents a foolproof method of cold fusion will never be as rich as a man who invents a foolproof method of patent infringement…