The race goes not always to the swift, but they are usually the odds on favorite.
Violence never solved anything… except the problem of that guy who’s staring at you from across the bar.
He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough. He who knows that too much isn’t nearly enough will always need closet space.
Aristotle died in 322 BCE. Some scholars hypothesize that, if Aristotle were alive today, he’d be the oldest man in the world.
Don’t let Doubt tie your hands… unless it also brought its riding crop and a ball gag.
Life is like a simile
The difference between genius and insanity is that insanity usually has its own Youtube channel and Twitter account.
The only good reason to play lacrosse is that your only other choice was to watch lacrosse.
I forgot who my REAL friends were… until my imaginary friends ratted on me to the cops.
Proof of a PhD in Philosophy is all the documentation you need to declare bankruptcy in nearly every state.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
What about the the tortoise will always beat the hare, unless the hare puts the tortoise on its back and then runs
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Then, the tortoise will still win… but only by a hare…
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Huh??? Are you trying to destroy my satisfaction at attempting to be funny????
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It’s what I do.
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My high school English teacher will be thrilled that I laughed the hardest over the simile joke.
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I thought that was the weakest one. Thanks!
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I’m a grammar nerd, what can I say?
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My son is taking a master’s level course in grammar. I said, “That sounds very interesting”. He agreed. Then, I added, “I think we are the only two people to think that, though”
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“He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough. He who knows that too much isn’t nearly enough will always need closet space.” 🙂
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random thoughts floating on the soup carry no weight
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My brain is the crouton in the banquet of life…
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Missed the simile by a metaphor
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Well, a miss is as good as a simile…
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😀
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I think I once had a girlfriend named Doubt.
I’m not sure, but she was a lot of fun 😎
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