Waiter! What’s this Random Thought Doing in My Soup?

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The race goes not always to the swift, but they are usually the odds on favorite.

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Violence never solved anything… except the problem of that guy who’s staring at you from across the bar.

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He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough. He who knows that too much isn’t nearly enough will always need closet space.

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Aristotle died in 322 BCE. Some scholars hypothesize that, if Aristotle were alive today, he’d be the oldest man in the world.

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Don’t let Doubt tie your hands… unless it also brought its riding crop and a ball gag.

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Life is like a simile

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The difference between genius and insanity is that insanity usually has its own Youtube channel and Twitter account.

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The only good reason to play lacrosse is that your only other choice was to watch lacrosse.

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I forgot who my REAL friends were… until my imaginary friends ratted on me to the cops.

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Proof of a PhD in Philosophy is all the documentation you need to declare bankruptcy in nearly every state.

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15 thoughts on “Waiter! What’s this Random Thought Doing in My Soup?

      1. My son is taking a master’s level course in grammar. I said, “That sounds very interesting”. He agreed. Then, I added, “I think we are the only two people to think that, though”

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