[This one is mostly for math people because I don’t write for you… I write for ME. That’s right… ME! And, occasionally Deb… and sometimes Chelsea… but mostly for ME!]
Irrational Number: Simply put, it’s an integer that is so overwrought that you have to slap it to calm it down.
Imaginary Number: Designated by the letter ‘i’ as in “i have a 9 inch penis” and “i make 250,000 dollars a year”.
Fractions: A value containing a partial whole number; also, the first indicator to children that adulthood is going to suck big time.
Real Number: Designated by the letter ‘u’ as in “u only have a 3 inch penis” and “u are unemployed and have 0 dollars in your checking account”.
Trigonometry: Has two uses: To separate a vector into its x and y components; and, to push more college sophomores towards switching to a degree in a non-technical field.
Prime Number: Better marbled and more flavorful than a “choice” number. A prime number has only two factors and is great with a béarnaise sauce.
Sine: Used to prove the existence of God as in, “If there is a god, give me a sine”.
Calculus: Useful for calculating slopes of curves, areas and keeping Isaac Newton out of trouble. Also useful for pushing college juniors towards switching to a degree in a non-technical field.
Acute Angle: Admit it. You felt something when you saw that angle. Buy it a drink and go over and introduce yourself…
Probability: Useful for determining the odds that you’d ever end up a mathematics major.
Statistics: Like most dysfunctional families, statistics likes to pretend that most events fall within the bound of “normal”.
Numerical Analysis: A lot like Numbers Therapy but, for it to be successful, the number has to admit it is sexually attracted to its mother and fears its father will castrate it.
Partial Differential Equations: Useful for quantum calculations, harmonics and for pushing college senior towards dropping out and working at their dads’ stores.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
imaginary numbers was the closest that mathematicians got to revealing their true self, and then I read Hawking and his imaginary time.
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I like imaginary numbers because people realized some algebraic problems couldn’t be solved in one dimension… so they just added a dimension. Same thing quantum physics is doing.
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Seriously Charles you need to have some fun. I just finished reading a story called Baby Hunter. I think you would like it 😊
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Where do I find such a story, Deb?
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I got mine online from kindle. Do you have a kindle.
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I do not. Evil, evil things… replacing paper like that…
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I’m disappointed… I thought this post was all about pie and I wanted blueberry.
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Blueberry is the only kind of pie I still make. No peeling or coring and it usually coagulates nicely in the fridge…
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“Irrational Number: Simply put, it’s an integer that is so overwrought that you have to slap it to calm it down.” Acute angle and prime number cracked me up! 🙂
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Thanks, Robyn. I wasn’t sure this one would be very popular… what with it being math and all. But, I did tell you there’d be math…
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If only I could afford prime numbers…
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You can build them out of other numbers. Ikea will sell you a kit, but you have to have an allen wrench…
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Haha, these made me laugh. Thanks!
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That’s why I write them. Thank you.
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