Random and Random of Beverly Hills

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Splunge!

A female goat is called a “nanny”. A young attractive female goat is called an “au pair”…

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Studies show that left-handed people die earlier, on average, than right-handed people. The primary reason for this is that left-handed people don’t live as long.

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Dance is just your soul trying to express itself by crushing someone else’s foot.

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The first four times I pointed out my wife’s stretch-marks, she was okay with it; but, the fifth time I did it, she flew off the handle like some kind of a nut.  I blame numerology.

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Her: “I hate when you contradict me. I’ll bet the next thing you say will contradict me, right?

Me: “Splunge!”

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I ordered a book on handwriting analysis.  When it arrived by post, I had to sign for it.  The deliverer looked down at my signature and told me I would never finish the book because I don’t close the top of my ‘o’s.

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I’d really like to live in a color-blind society so I wouldn’t have to worry about my socks matching.

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I used to wear my mom’s stockings over my head so I’d understand what it is like to be a leg.

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If you live by the sword, you die by the sword.  If you live by a Taco Bell, you die of morbid obesity.

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If you are a bike courier, then every job that ISN’T bike courier is a promotion…

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27 thoughts on “Random and Random of Beverly Hills

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