Rock Monsters feel no shame, remorse nor empathy making them perfect corporate lawyers.
Rock Monsters fear nothing except guys in berets with chisels.
When a Rock Monster is about to smash something, it yells, “ROCK MONSTER SMASH!”, which is more warning than your secretary gave when she slapped you with that harassment suit.
You can give your Rock Monsters funny names like “Cary Granite” and “Tom Shale”. If you name yours “Rock Hudson” you really aren’t trying hard enough…
If your Rock Monster has trace levels of radium ore in it, it will be able to microwave leftovers in its armpit.
With a few tools, you can make your Rock Monster look like whoever you want… especially your uncle Fred, who was also a rock.
Rock Monsters don’t use a lot of sick time… but, they do take take off a few days a year when they get a bad case of erosion.
I don’t know if Rock Monsters take bathroom breaks but, if they do, prepare for nightmarish plumbing problems.
During “team building” exercises, the other employees can take turns climbing Rock Monster’s northern face.
No matter how much a Rock Monster rolls, it gathers no moss, so avoid hiring them at harvest time at a lichen farm…
Rock Monster is a trademark of Masercot Toys. Rock Monster, Astronaut Rock Monster and Astronaut Rock Monster’s Malibu Dream House are sold separately…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
I like the fact you assume ALL rock monsters are male. 🥺
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Female Rock Monsters should be home bearing Rock Children…
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Should be, but they ain’t
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I blame Woodstock…
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Ooooooo, I want the Rock Monster Malibu Dream House – if it is anything like the image in my head, it will be big enough for me to live in and fancier than my house. I can endure the plastic frame and glassless windows, no problem! In turn I get those pretty sticker decorations on the walls! Ooooooo
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And, you can brush and style his hair!
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Oh boy!!!!!
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Most excellent toy.
I support anything made of rocks…
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Color me shocked…
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To hell with coloring. Share the revenue from sales instead…
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Rock Monsters feel no shame, remorse nor empathy making them perfect Wive’s! Wive’s!
I married one who turned into a Rock Monster Later in life! Does that happen? Is that possible? Hysterical post Mascerot, thanks for the humor!
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Thanks, George. This one was one of those “title first, content afterwards” pieces…
You should call me “Charlie”…
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“Charlie” call me …
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