Short-handed? Here’s Why You Should Hire ROCK MONSTER

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Rock Monsters feel no shame, remorse nor empathy making them perfect corporate lawyers.

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Rock Monsters fear nothing except guys in berets with chisels.

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When a Rock Monster is about to smash something, it yells, “ROCK MONSTER SMASH!”, which is more warning than your secretary gave when she slapped you with that harassment suit.

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You can give your Rock Monsters funny names like “Cary Granite” and “Tom Shale”.  If you name yours “Rock Hudson” you really aren’t trying hard enough…

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If your Rock Monster has trace levels of radium ore in it, it will be able to microwave leftovers in its armpit.

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With a few tools, you can make your Rock Monster look like whoever you want… especially your uncle Fred, who was also a rock.

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Rock Monsters don’t use a lot of sick time… but, they do take take off a few days a year when they get a bad case of erosion.

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I don’t know if Rock Monsters take bathroom breaks but, if they do, prepare for nightmarish plumbing problems.

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During “team building” exercises, the other employees can take turns climbing Rock Monster’s northern face.

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No matter how much a Rock Monster rolls, it gathers no moss, so avoid hiring them at harvest time at a lichen farm…

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Rock Monster is a trademark of Masercot Toys.  Rock Monster, Astronaut Rock Monster and Astronaut Rock Monster’s Malibu Dream House are sold separately…

13 thoughts on “Short-handed? Here’s Why You Should Hire ROCK MONSTER

  1. Ooooooo, I want the Rock Monster Malibu Dream House – if it is anything like the image in my head, it will be big enough for me to live in and fancier than my house. I can endure the plastic frame and glassless windows, no problem! In turn I get those pretty sticker decorations on the walls! Ooooooo

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Rock Monsters feel no shame, remorse nor empathy making them perfect Wive’s! Wive’s!
    I married one who turned into a Rock Monster Later in life! Does that happen? Is that possible? Hysterical post Mascerot, thanks for the humor!

    Liked by 2 people

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