New, this Television Season!

Dr. Weasel M.D. (NBC) – A weasel bombarded by gamma rays becomes super-intelligent enough to get a medical degree; but, not smart enough to come up with a cure for being a weasel. Dr. Weasel sets up practice in a small town and has to deal with small town prejudice. Pilot Episode: Who ate Farmer Ben’s chickens?

Coma Games (Fox) – The medically unresponsive and their greedy families compete in various events for a chance at a hundred thousand dollars. Can a comatose mom on a gurney run a slalom? It’ll cost you an hour of your life to find out. Part of Fox’s Bad Taste Friday Line-up…

Roaches w/Roaches (Netflix) – With Bojack Horseman gone forever, a new animation is in town. It is hip and cool and definitely NOT Cheech and Chong. These two pot-smoking cockroaches go on many exciting adventures both imagined and hallucinated. But, they are definitely NOT Cheech and Chong. Pilot Episode: Dave’s Not Here, Guy.

Mountie Remodel (HGTV) – Members of the RCMP help the elderly remodel their homes while fighting what little crime there is in Canada. Definitely more exciting than watching paint dry. Pilot Episode: Installing a Downspoot.

Spock-Date (SiFi) – Trekies compete for the attention of a beautiful woman through a mix of talent competition and humiliation. The beautiful woman has the option of dating the winner or curling up in a corner and weeping.

The Manic Depressive Chef (Food Network) – A chef, newly off of his medication, walks you through a full meal as he goes through a wide variety of emotions. Pilot Episode: London Broil with New Potatoes and Squash and, For Dessert: Despair.

BOOORRRED! (Ovation) – Talk show for teenage girls. Actually, the talking only lasts until one of the hosts thinks it’s getting “stupid”; then, for the rest of the show, they chew gum and hate-stare the camera.

Frank Fig, P.I. (CBS) – Frank Fig is a detective with a difference. He solves crime using figs… both fresh and dried. He always gets his man… and the delightful flavor of nature’s candy, the fig. Pilot Episode: The Ransoming of the Vanderbilt Ficus Tree.

Seinfeld’s Cheerful Friends Who’ve Met Your Mother (CW) – Six twenty somethings live in adjoining apartments in New York and somehow manage to make a life of abject failure and bitterness even less tragic than it is. Most of the dialog is done in Irony with English subtitles. Pilot Episode: Is Marc Sleeping with Cathy’s Transsexual Brother’s Life-Coach?

The Moving Finger Writes (PBS) – A twelve-part epic on the development and creation of the Etch-a-Sketch. It’s part of PBS’s drive to alienate the remainder of their viewers. Pilot Episode: The Crappy Signature.