Wealth of Notions

If we ever go to an all-barter economy, gynecologists are going to have a rough time in retail establishments.

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I used to make tiny gold bars out of scrap jewelry and kept them in a little bowl. In no time, I’d amassed a small fortune…

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I broke a quarter into three pieces and sold two pieces. What I had left was a nice chunk of change.

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The richest man I ever knew had no money in the bank and no fancy car… just a modest home, a loving wife and his children… his solid gold children.

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I tried to get my money to work for me and I was able to get some light housekeeping out of a handful of quarters; but, they started stealing DVDs so I had to let them go.

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My friend said, “I’m rich, and that makes me happy”

I responded, “Really? Can your money give you an afternoon playing catch with your late father?”

He said, “I’ll give you a thousand dollars if you’ll throw a baseball with me while pretending to be my dad”

I think we both learned something that day.

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In a world where people are a commodity to be used as currency, I have to wonder, “How do they make change?”. Let’s say you have a meal at a restaurant and pay for it with an astronaut. Will they give you two stenographers and a wino in change? And, do you just leave the wino on the table as a tip?

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He who knows when enough is enough will always have enough; and, he who knows when enough is not enough will always have a reason not to tip.

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Money cannot buy good manners; but, it can buy friends that don’t mind that you have bad manners.

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If someone is more successful than you, don’t envy them. Envy is one of the deadly sins. Burn down his house; because, I checked and arson isn’t even ON the list of sins…