Some Semi-Formal Facts about Penguins

Penguins: The Monogamous Tuxedoed Birds That 'Fly' Underwater |  HowStuffWorks

If a penguin joins a convent, you can’t tell if it is wearing a habit or walking around naked like some kind of pervert.

Male penguins, nesting at the South Pole, incubate eggs. This is a good thing, because if they did it in a populated area, females of other species might get ideas.

Penguins do not fear humans; they only fear public speaking and being caught nude in a convent.

There are no Eskimos at the South Pole; Emperor Penguins are four feet tall; this should explain who you were dancing with after drinking all that scotch.

Unlike other birds, penguins molt all at once; so, if you are standing near a penguin during molting season, wear a tarp.

Penguins sneeze out the extra salt they get from swimming in the ocean. So, in a pinch, they can be used as rudimentary salt shakers if you’ve got some goldenrod or tree pollen.

The fastest penguin is the Gentoo Penguin which can swim over twenty miles an hour. The slowest penguin is a dead Gentoo Penguin.

Penguins have excellent hearing. They can hear their mates calling from a crowd of a thousand penguins and move to it or away from it depending upon how moody she’s been.

The name “penguin” was originally a name for a species of auk. When that species went extinct, zoologists reused the name so they wouldn’t waste all the name-tags, t-shirts and baseball caps they’d made up.

The Yellow-Eyed Penguin lives along the southeastern coast of New Zealand. It is the rarest of the penguins species because they are allergic to wool…

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