In Praise of Younger Women

Speaking Up and Standing Out as a Young Woman in Tech | JPMorgan Chase & Co.

With younger women, there is far less likelihood of a conversation about her clogged bile duct.

A younger woman can use your rambling, go-nowhere stories of your youth in her history class.

Younger women make great “trophy wives”; but, never EVER have one engraved.

A young girlfriend destroys the confidence of your ex-wife to the point where she gets a boob-job and botox and then takes a spin-class and breaks her ankle and has to stay in bed for six weeks which is almost sufficient punishment for having sex with our mailman.

Younger women are more likely to use birth control because they are more likely to remember the trauma of being born.

Younger girlfriends invite their friends over and they exercise nude in your living room… according to some public-service informational video I saw on a porn site.

Younger women are more likely to have several tattoos, giving you a topic to talk about after you’ve failed them sexually…

Younger women can explain those on-line abbreviations that mean literally nothing to you.

Younger women are happier because they have no CLUE what is in store for them…

Younger women think my remarks are funny and original because they’ve never seen Caddyshack

13 thoughts on “In Praise of Younger Women

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