I took a survival course. They sent me a letter, telling me that I failed the class; but, I’m still alive so I must’ve gotten at least a ‘D’…
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I developed a cheap covid test based on the fact that your sense of taste tends to lessen when you come down with the virus: I eat at Arby’s. If I don’t immediately regret it, I’ve probably come down with the virus.
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After surveying bakeries all over the world, scientists have determined that no two thumbprint cookies are the same.
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“It’s the exception that proves the rule”… what the HELL does that even MEAN???
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If I ever have to box in the heavyweight class, I think I’ll call “no hits to the head” before the match starts.
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I want to buy one of those really nice stationary bikes because, the one thing I don’t own is a very expensive metaphor for how my life is going.
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You know those spy movies where someone’s exact double takes his place; but, there’s something off about him where you know it isn’t the original person? That’s how I see Canadians and Americans.
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You might say there are a lot of stoners in my family. Under my family crest is the Latin equivalent of “Puff, puff, pass”…
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The old expression is true: You rip what you sew…
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Why isn’t the synonym for “groundhog” “breakfast sausage”?
Ok, amazing fact no 1. Google Alfred Noble.
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Okay… googled!
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And, isn’t it amazing?
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He was a dynamite guy!
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You had me up until groundhog sausage. That’s just wrong.
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I thought talking about sausage was sage advice…
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You made me laugh with the thumbprint cookies, but your family crest saying took the cake!
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It’s a colorful family… at least the American Indian side is…
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I relate better to Canadians, mainly because their country isn’t being destroyed by batshit crazy power mad conservatives.
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I relate better to Canadians even before the insanity. I’m a polite guy and I respect polite people…
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Also, New Zealand is the Canada of Australia…
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I know. I’ve known Kiwis and Aussies and that’s an apt description. A professor from New Zealand rented a house from us while he was guest teaching at Georgetown.
I still have to say that Aussies are less predictable…
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I once read an article that New Zealand and Canada should join together and become New Zanada. Our national symbol would be the Kiwoose, a giant kiwi (the bird that is) with moose antlers. I would so support this.
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The stationary bike one is great!
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Thank you, Candice!
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I have a stationary bike. It’s a great life metaphor. Lots of motion, no progress. But hey, it feels good…exactly like you’re doing something or accomplishing something. Sorta like blogging.
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I feel like I’ve accomplished something after playing Minecraft…
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I was going to make a pun about a random fart, but I couldn’t stink of any (if that doesn’t ruin your readers’ digestion, I don’t know what swill).
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I liked your post. It was a gas.
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