The Writing Process

Posted on by masercot

Are you FRUSTRATED when writing? READ THIS! – Write Way

  1. Create new file in your word processor.

  2. Save file under descriptive and inspirational name like “My Book”.

  3. Write “Outline” at the top of the first page.

  4. Stare at blank page for several hours.

  5. Rename file, “My Novel”

  6. Realize you don’t have an ending so you instead concentrate on middle of novel.

  7. Stare at blank page for several minutes.

  8. Realize that you also don’t have a middle for your novel.

  9. Concentrate on your dynamite opening sentence.

  10. Write opening sentence.

  11. Suddenly realize that your opening sentence was taken from an F. Scott Fitzgerald novel.

  12. Reformat opening sentence to italics and move it to the chapter subheading.

  13. Spend eleven hours trying to figure out what font you’ll use.

  14. Settle on Comic Sans.

  15. Move your second sentence to where your first sentence was.

  16. Suddenly realize your second sentence was also taken from an F. Scott Fitzgerald novel.

  17. Rename file, “My Biography of F. Scott Fitzgerald”

  18. Write “Outline” at the top of the page.

  19. Realize that you don’t know how F. Scott Fitzgerald ended, either.

  20. Rename file, “My Suicide Note”

  21. Write first line of suicide note.

  22. Suddenly realize that the first line of your suicide note was taken from a Philip K. Dick novel.

  23. Turn off computer.

  24. Sleep until rigor mortis sets in…

22 thoughts on “The Writing Process”

  3. There are weeks I stare at a blank page and can’t even get a blog post out. You are not me! You got this! You are Rocky in the ring – head shake, bounce around, and then tap the keyboard! Lightly, of course. And make words into sentences. You got this!

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  5. 25. Give up. 26. Have a beer. 27. Realize no one cares, no one will read it. 28. Realize you can’t write anything, because you don’t actually KNOW anything. 29. Have another beer, whiskey chaser. 30. Go back to bed. 31. Wake up, laugh at your self induced nightmare.

    Brilliant comedy once again, Mascecot!

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  6. “The most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in, shock-proof shit detector.” -Ernest Hemingway

    ….and here I thought that was the best way to tell a politician from a human being.

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  7. Here’s an idea…pick one of your favorite real-life stories to tell. It could be funny, sad, heartwarming, uplifting, motivational, whatever. Anonymize it and build around it. Don’t set out feeling like you have to write a book. Write a piece…of something. Let it be whatever it will be.

    …and if it turns into a book, you can thank me in the acknowledgements. 😉

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Published by masercot