The average gorilla weighs three hundred pounds. The above average gorilla weighs just about the same as that but he earns more and doesn’t spill when he drinks too much.
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A gorilla has black fur and is capable of doing a person great harm. Think of the gorilla as a bear but with better reasoning skills.
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The tallest gorilla ever recorded was six feet four inches in what is now the Democratic Republic of Congo. And, by “recorded”, I mean, “shot dead, laid out and measured like a length of cloth”.
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In Poe’s Murder’s in the Rue Morgue, a gorilla was the murderer which was BRILLIANT because the last one you’d suspect in bludgeoning murders IS THE GORILLA!
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Gorillas are considered vegetarians; but, once in a while, they will grab a monkey, tear it apart and eat it because THAT’S HOW IRRITABLE BEING A VEGETARIAN MAKES YOU!
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Gorillas have about 96 percent of human DNA. How? They demanded we give it to them and are you going to say “no” to a gorilla?
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If your gorilla is horribly injured, resist the urge to use Gorilla Glue®. It only makes things worse.
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The Eastern Gorilla has two subspecies: The Mountain Gorilla and the Lowland Gorilla. Scientists think that the Lowland Gorillas are directly descended from Mountain Gorillas who fainted and rolled downhill.
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The Neanderthal Man was a science fiction movie where a scientist was slowly being turned into a gorilla. The movie is scheduled for a remake except it will star Sylvester Stallone and it will be autobiographical…
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Gorillas scored between seventy and ninety on human IQ tests. Not impressive scores but way better than humans did on gorilla IQ tests.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Love it, especially the lowland gorillas … bit disappointed you didn’t ask for a photo though. On an entirely different topic, I got two sucker fish this week 😁
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Do you eat sucker fish or sell them Florida real estate?
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Probably both over there, mine are keeping the algae down in the fishtank
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Sorry about the photo. I should ask you about every animal I try to write on. I’ll do better in the future, Deb.
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With an IQ of 70-90 I’d say they fully qualify to run for political office.
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And, for a Bachelor’s Degree in Urban Planning!
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I suspect there are a fair amount of people who have plenty of gorilla DNA in them as well, such as those in the WWE, or in politics. Or am I being redundant?
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I’d like to say that Vin Diesel is a great example of that but I promised “Not Pam” that I wouldn’t…
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Apes are surprisingly deceptive. In the wild, some of the most successful Apes become that way by stealing bananas from less clever apes.
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Yeah… guile is rewarded in the animal kingdom… Shows you how amoral nature is…
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Morals? …Omg those animals have no boundaries. They’ll eat you alive…
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And… eating someone alive is sometimes the moral thing to do…
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…in most cases.
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I already learned about the Gorilla glue not fixing a broken gorilla. (Please don’t ask me how I know…)
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Most people use Gorilla Glue for keeping their gorilla in place…
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The average gorilla may only weigh 300 pounds, but if you throw in King Kong, you’d either get a hernia or set the world record for gorilla throwing (or both).
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Well, I’ve already got a hernia so no world record for me!
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Proof gorillas are smarter than humans: they don’t talk. 🙂
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One of them did.
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There goes my faith in gorillas.
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At that high of an IQ, I think that makes them smarter than many humans.
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Yeah, but if you start replacing people with gorillas, we will be hearing from the unions…
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Another classic masercot piece!
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