Gorillas, gorillas, gorillas!

Spy Gorilla Comes Face To Face With Alpha Silverback | BBC Earth - YouTube

The average gorilla weighs three hundred pounds. The above average gorilla weighs just about the same as that but he earns more and doesn’t spill when he drinks too much.

A gorilla has black fur and is capable of doing a person great harm. Think of the gorilla as a bear but with better reasoning skills.

The tallest gorilla ever recorded was six feet four inches in what is now the Democratic Republic of Congo. And, by “recorded”, I mean, “shot dead, laid out and measured like a length of cloth”.

In Poe’s Murder’s in the Rue Morgue, a gorilla was the murderer which was BRILLIANT because the last one you’d suspect in bludgeoning murders IS THE GORILLA!

Gorillas are considered vegetarians; but, once in a while, they will grab a monkey, tear it apart and eat it because THAT’S HOW IRRITABLE BEING A VEGETARIAN MAKES YOU!

Gorillas have about 96 percent of human DNA. How? They demanded we give it to them and are you going to say “no” to a gorilla?

If your gorilla is horribly injured, resist the urge to use Gorilla Glue®. It only makes things worse.

The Eastern Gorilla has two subspecies: The Mountain Gorilla and the Lowland Gorilla. Scientists think that the Lowland Gorillas are directly descended from Mountain Gorillas who fainted and rolled downhill.

The Neanderthal Man was a science fiction movie where a scientist was slowly being turned into a gorilla. The movie is scheduled for a remake except it will star Sylvester Stallone and it will be autobiographical…

Gorillas scored between seventy and ninety on human IQ tests. Not impressive scores but way better than humans did on gorilla IQ tests.

23 thoughts on “Gorillas, gorillas, gorillas!

  1. Love it, especially the lowland gorillas … bit disappointed you didn’t ask for a photo though. On an entirely different topic, I got two sucker fish this week 😁

    Liked by 2 people

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