If I’d just spent an evening with the best hypnotist EVER…
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If the only two foods available were Red Lobster entrees and Elmer’s Glue and someone snapped up the glue before I could.
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If I knew a lobster that I had a grudge against was in one of their tanks.
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If I’d had great meals for two weeks and I decided to shake things up and eat something really bad.
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If they had Skeeball because WHO can resist Skeeball?
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If one of their waitresses was beautiful, independently wealthy, unmarried and Jessica Alba.
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If I was a bank robber and the bank was next door to the restaurant and I was secretly tunneling over in between cheddar biscuits.
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If I have a strong desire to see a bunch of people who look both full and regretful.
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If I am teaching a class in “How to Cook Seafood Poorly” and I need to arrange a field trip.
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If I find myself in a Red Lobster going fifty-five miles an hour and I know that if I don’t eat the shrimp scampi, the restaurant will explode and I’ll have Sandra Bullock mad at me forever…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
The restaurant exploding is the best thing that could happen to it. Maine has more sense than the rest of the nation… there are none here.
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They served me a bad appetizer back in the nineties and a few years ago, when I went back because my nephew wanted Red Lobster, it hadn’t improved…
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Curiously, it was the same exact appetizer!
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That got an lol out of me, Jack!
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I had a friend who always wanted to go when we lived down south. Poor girl, she had no idea what real seafood was.
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Have you ever eaten it C? I haven’t, but then I’ve never had a go to list of reasons why I should. I don’t Sandra Bullock mad at me either
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Oh yeah… I’ve eaten at Red Lobster…
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That doesn’t even red enthusiastically ☹️
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I’ve eaten there twice in thirty years… bad both times.
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There used to be a Red Lobster near me, but someone threw peroxide all over it, and now it’s a Goldfish.
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Or a really big silverfish…
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If I were biking across the country and got caught in a rainstorm, and nothing else was around, I’d go in and order the lobster so that I could use the melted butter on my chain.
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Bring a napkin in case there are chives…
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😀
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I love Red Lobster! But, I don’t eat the actual Lobster. I prefer the Shrimp or Crab Cakes and their Biscuits are delicious!
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Did I or did I NOT give the biscuits a mention? I’m not a monster!
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