[Most questions taken from Google results]
Q. What is the deepest fish in the ocean?
A. Physically, the deepest fish ever caught was Abyssobrotula galatheae, at a depth of over five miles. Philosophically, the deepest fish was an unnamed haddock off the coast of Chile who wrote a five volume work on the metaphysics of Platonic ethics.
Q. What sea creature looks the most like actress Katherine Hepburn?
A. The seahorse…
Q. What is the rarest mammal in the sea?
A. The mermaid, holding steady at none.
Q. It is my wish to serve some fish. Do you think skate would be great?
A. No, but a little grouper would be souper.
Q. Do megalodons (prehistoric giant sharks) still exist?
A. Emma Bernard, curator of the Natural History Museum, said, “No. It’s definitely not alive in the deep oceans, despite what the Discovery Channel has said in the past…If an animal as big as megalodon still lived in the oceans we would know about it” She made this comment just before she was mysteriously eaten.
Q. Do sharks have eyelids?
A. Sharks have three eyelids, making the application of false eye-lashes a complicated process.
Q. How do sharks get pregnant?
A. Well, you start with the most cautious foreplay ever…
Q. What is the largest crab in the world?
A. The Japanese Spider Crab, with a leg span of around thirteen feet. It can be found off the coast of Japan and in your nightmares.
Q. I thought King Crabs are the largest crab.
A. That’s exactly what the monarchy WANTS you to believe.
Q. Why do people use blue whales so often as a way to visualize something of great size?
A. If they just described something by giving its mass, the average person wouldn’t be able to relate; but, most of us see blue whales every single day. Fun Fact: If all the references to blue whales were collected, they would fill a stadium deeper than the Grand Canyon and longer than an aircraft carrier and cover the distance from the moon and back a hundred times.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
13 feet of crab legs isn’t a nightmare, with melted butter it’s a dream come true.
🦀
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You Maine people are cold-blooded!
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And hungry. Yes….
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I like the Haddock, bet his name was Melvin
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Actually, it was Mel Funn… best fish comedian EVER!
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I always wonder about the people who work at Google who find those answers.
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In doing research for this piece, Google told me that sharks have no eyelids AND that sharks have THREE eyelids. Whoever those people are, they should be paid more…
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Q. I have a question.
A. What is the question ?
Q. What question?
A. The question you didn’t ask.
Q. I asked a question. What is the answer?
A. The question was the answer.
Q. Who’s question?
A. Who’s on first.
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I DON’T KNOW!!!
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