[Taken from Google Answers]
Will potato bugs bite you? Yes, but only in cases where they are provoked or in which you look a lot like a potato.
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How long will a cricket live in my house? Until you stop buying the juice that it likes.
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Do crickets feel pain? Not really. So if you need to extract information from one, use sodium pentothal or offer to buy it that juice that it likes.
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How smart are crickets? Not as smart as bees or ants but smarter than doorstops or bits of concrete.
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What instantly kills crickets? Being sprayed with a mix of vinegar and water will kill most crickets, except for vampire crickets. If you are dealing with vampire crickets, substitute holy water for water.
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How do you kill a cricket you cannot find? Burn down your house. Ready the holy water just in case it was a vampire cricket.
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What smell do crickets hate? Cinnamon oil. So, spray some around if you don’t want crickets or you want your home to smell like a hippie’s garage apartment.
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Where do crickets lay eggs? Mostly in plant stems or damp areas of your home. Pretty futile though because it takes about fifteen thousand cricket eggs to make a decent omelet.
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Do crickets sleep? Yes, during the day. And, they dream… mostly about that juice it likes or the occasional nightmare where they are trapped in a hippie’s bedroom.
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What does it mean when you hear a cricket chirping? It means you haven’t gone deaf. Congratulations!
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
I’ve often considered burning down the house when a cricket sings his song at midnight.
But damn, I’m looking more like a potato every day and am now in fear of being bitten.
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Just be careful it isn’t a radioactive potato bug because then you’ll have all the powers of a potato… among which is that you’ll be tasty with butter and sour cream…
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That sounds ok, I’m rather partial to being covered in butter and sour cream
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Yeah, but then you’ll be slippery and covered with bees, Deb…
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Who says I’m not already tasty with butter and sour cream…?
😈
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Thankfully I’m no a couch potato, but I am a Lazy Boy lover, so I do have to watch out for the love bug.
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There are ways of avoiding the love bug but they hamper sensitivity…
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The sound of crickets in our house is only heard when I ask who wants to help me, or when I’ve just told a story and am waiting for feedback.
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The sound was the crickets saying, “We’ll help you”. Sadly, without opposable thumbs, their help is useless…
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I like the last one.
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Thanks! I was stuck for a number ten…
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Ever since Pinocchio, I’ve considered crickets to be our moral exemplars and guides.
Until I step on them.
Tough luck, cricket fool. Now who’s going to “Live to be a hundred and three!” ?
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Careful! I learned how to spell “encyclopedia” from a cricket… the same one that was no fool, I think.
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