I Answer Google FAQs about Fruit

Black Diamond Apples | Local Apple From Nyingchi, China

Are bananas good for anxiety? They are, unless you have a morbid fear of bananas.

How can apples benefit you? If you stand next to one, you’ll feel taller.

Do apples cleanse your body? Maybe… but if you’re a cop, you have to tell them, right?

I hear eating two cups of blueberries a day helps you sleep. Is this true? It is true if you can sleep while sitting on a toilet.

What happens if you inject yourself with orange juice? You’ll suddenly have grounds to sue whatever school gave you your high school diploma.

Do dragon fruit help sperm? Yes, but only if the sperm WANT to be helped.

Why are figs called the “fruit of heaven”? The theory was that God preferred fruit that is unpleasant to look at and completely tasteless…

Are bananas radioactive? Yes… slightly. If you take ten thousand bananas and a Kodak disposable camera, you can give yourself a pretty decent chest x-ray.

What is the healthiest item at McDonalds? The exit door…

Are black apples edible? It depends on what kind of paint was used.

11 thoughts on “I Answer Google FAQs about Fruit

  1. Nothing more incorrigibly backward than recalcitrant sperm. I’ve read that if you place ugli fruit or unpeel a duren at the original starting end of their course they all come rushing back in dismay…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s