How I will Acquire All the Money in the World

Why Scrooge Mcduck wasn't frugal

To make my fortune, every day, I put all my pocket change into a coffee can. The only hard part will be living to be a billion.

A sex novel that has every conceivable fetish in it. I’ll call it, The Very Eventful Weekend

To make a lot of money in any venture, you have to use very rigorous mathematics to determine its likelihood of success… So, I’M BUYING LOTTERY TICKETS.

From the start, I decided to earn my money the old fashioned way: By selling semi-precious stones and mammoth hides to settlements along the Tigris and Euphrates rivers…

I could make my money from buying up a commodity that will soon become very scarce… like drinking water or common sense…

I made a lot of money on cattle futures but I got tired of writing up horoscopes for cows…

It takes money to make money… so, I took money, hence the embezzlement indictment.

Maybe someone will buy the most expensive banana split in the world. I make it with homemade vanilla ice cream and raw organic sugar and imported bananas. Then, I top it with Belgium chocolate, Hawaiian pineapple and a Monet…

I’ll create my own social networking site that will allow one to post literally anything but who it posts TO is completely random. I’ll call it “”…

Early on, I made my money smuggling drugs over the southern border… not for any nefarious reasons, just to sell to school children. I had the brilliant idea to mold the drugs so that they looked like something that wasn’t drugs, in this case automatic weapons and rare tropical birds. But, I was stopped and questioned and one of the parrots turned state’s evidence on me…

13 thoughts on “How I will Acquire All the Money in the World

  1. If you’d LOWER your sights a bit, you could acquire all the money in MAGA WORLD just by changing your name to Donald Trump and requesting donations or selling Trump t-shirts for ego-inflated prices.

    Liked by 1 person

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