If you try to wrestle a donkey in a bathtub.
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If you walk through a weight-watcher’s meeting dressed as a french fry.
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If you try to break up a bar-fight between two angry rattlesnakes.
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It’s dusk, bats are flying about and you are wearing your “Smells like Mosquitoes” unisex cologne…
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You are trying to get past Pac-man in a narrow corridor.
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A mother grizzly walks up behind you while you are putting mascara on one of her cubs.
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If there isn’t enough room at the hotel you want to stay at, so you have to share a bed with a badger.
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Your crazy aunt has knitted you a sweater out of a wool/horsefly blend.
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If you try to tattoo the eyeball of your German Shepherd with your school colors.
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You know that trick where you throw the ball but it stays in your hand and your dog runs around looking for it like an idiot? The dog loses patience the eightieth time.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
You forgot, you try to teach your cat to snorkel
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I didn’t say, “You will get horribly clawed”. I remember trying to get my cat into her carrying case to go to the vet. Both arms bleeding from my elbow to my wrists…
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My daughter decided to bathe her cat … 14 stitches later she decided it had been a bad idea 🙄
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I gave my cat a bath once… it was fine except for all the fur on my tongue…
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Yuck. I’m drawing a Hitchcock image ATM. It made me think of you. What about 10 reasons why you shouldn’t invite Hitchcock to your birthday
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So, if I come up with something on Alfred Hitchcock I can use your drawing as an illustration?
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If you want to, but it’s about a week away from completion. How’s chapter two going?
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A week’s fine. Chapter two is moving slowly. The main character is awake and talking to a nurse. I don’t have any seasoning in it, yet…
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Sounds like my story, Fluffy the wonder bunny is being a bit uncooked
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So you’re saying I should walk through a Weight Watchers meeting dressed as kale? Damn. And me without a purse to match…
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You can tell people you’re a Spinach Dancer!
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You say that like it’s a good thing…
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Better than being a Flamango Dancer…
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Is there a reduced rate for sharing a bed with a badger?
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Free continental breakfast and all the Mercurochrome you can slather on…
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That’s a good deal!
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I once asked a bill collector if he would take my good-as-gold IOU, but he wouldn’t bite. I would’ve said GOOD AS TRUMP’S WORD if I knew he was a MAGA Republican, which he probably was.
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Ever ask one of the MAGAsheep is Trump’s statement that covid would be gone in two weeks was a lie? They just can’t say it!
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